NOT QUITE PERFECT

I can’t believe I met the perfect man ...

On the ferry to my mother’s wedding, I met the most amazing man—his love of Faulkner notwithstanding. Professor David Carstairs was funny, intelligent, and had the sexiest hands I’d ever seen.

A conversation about classic American literature led to a romantic dinner at his house ... and then a whole lot of dessert afterward. I’d never done anything like that before, but what we had was something special.

Unfortunately,  everything came crashing down the next day. Because my supposedly perfect professor? His dad just married my mom, and now he’s my stepbrother!

Thanksgiving dinner just got a whole lot more complicated.

I’ve finally found the perfect woman ...

En route to watch my father marry yet another young gold digger, I met the perfect woman—her hatred of Faulkner notwithstanding. Victoria Witherspoon was kind, witty, and had the most kissable lips I’d ever seen.

We spent the day together, and then stayed up all night exploring each other’s bodies. I don’t do relationships, but for someone as perfect as Victoria, I was ready to make an exception.  

If only her mom hadn’t just married my dad, putting the object of all my fantasies firmly in the “off limits” category.

And I thought the holidays were awkward before.

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